My Overactive Conscience
by hlf insn insmnc
Summary: When Alice sees an unbelievable vision, things fall apart for the Cullens. Post Eclipse.
1. Good Moods

**Disclaimer: The Cullens, Bella Swan, and all others in the Twilight series aren't mine, they're Stephenie Meyers. (Wish they were mine, though...)**

This story begins immediately after _Eclipse_ as Bella and Edward drive to Charlie's to break the news to him.

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**Chapter One: Good Moods**

It was raining, not uncharacteristically for Forks. I was sitting in the front seat of Edward's Volvo—he'd deemed my shaken state unfit for driving. The rain pounding on the windows sounded like the quick little beats of a deathly drum, and I gripped Edward's hand in my lap even more tightly.

"Drive slower, please," I whispered as I saw the familiar buildings of Forks. "I don't want to get there too fast."

He turned and flashed me a quick smile. "Why are you so apprehensive? If I didn't know better, I'd think you didn't _want _to marry me!"

"Exactly," I verified. "I don't. Please take me back to your house and we'll put that great bed to use."

"As I recall, this was completely your decision. I had nothing to do with it. Although I can't say I'm not pleased, and I have no intention of letting you go back on your word. Charlie's in a good mood. We'll be fine."

I groaned. If Edward knew Charlie's mood, that meant we were within miles of home. "Look, Edward… I think it might be better if I told him by myself."

Although his gaze did not waver, Edward's sudden clenching of my hand and the tightening of his jaw showed his surprise.

"I want a chance to explain everything"—Edward gave me a stark look—"Well, as much as everything as I can without you being there. Dazzling me, and all."

"If that's what you want."

I paused. "Yes, it is. When you hear Charlie thinking that he agrees, come on inside and do your stupid 'permission' thing." On the way from the meadow Edward had informed me that he was dead set on asking Charlie's permission to marry me.

"Alright." I could tell Edward wasn't thrilled, but after me agreeing to marry him he was very eager to please.

"Thanks," I said quietly. After a moment of silence, I added, "I love you."

He grinned wryly. "And despite the fact I'm allowing you to face your father's wrath alone, I love you too."

The car pulled to a smooth halt. In less than a breath Edward was at my door, holding it open for me like the gentleman he was.

I stumbled out of the car. He caught my arm with a hand. "Ow. Thanks," I said with a wince.

"I leave you to your doom," Edward said gallantly. "I'll be out here, listening."

I walked with false confidence to, as my vampire had charmingly put it, my doom.


	2. Much Too Old

**Disclaimer: If I owned Edward Cullen (which I sadly don't), I wouldn't bother with Alice's fancy wedding. Give me Vegas then give me him!**

Recap (I'll have this at the beginning of every chapter): Bella is about to break the news to Charlie about her wedding as Edward waits outside.

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**Chapter Two: Much Too Old**

"Charlie?" I called.

"In here!" came a voice from the family room.

Shaking, I stepped in. Charlie was watching some sport on TV, and I assumed it was an intense game from his eager position. Ignoring my desire to sit down and watch the screen with him silently, I said nervously, "Um, Dad? Can you turn off the TV for a second?"

"Yeah, yeah," he said distractedly. "Lemme just finish the inning."

"No, Dad," I sighed. I knew if I put off my news for even a moment, I'd lose confidence. "I really really need to talk to you. It's important."

"Alright," he said, curious. After turning off the TV and angling toward me he asked, "What's up?"

"Um, well… you know that… well that Edward and I have been really close since he came back."

"You bet I do." Now Charlie sounded grumpy.

I rushed on. "Well we're going to college, you know, and even though everything's all hectic and this is our last summer in Forks… and I mean this was my choice, you know, he didn't make me, he just… asked… and what I guess I'm trying to say is…"

Charlie was completely lost. "What?" he asked, mystified.

"EdwardandIaregettingmarried." It all came out in a long stream of mumbles. I sighed, and repeated slowly, "Edward and I are getting married. Before the end of the summer."

Standing up furiously, Charlie shouted, "No! I—I won't let you! You're too young for this, Bella!"

Instantly I was angry too. "Too young? If you'll remember, Dad, Mom was barely a few months older than me when she got married!"

"Yes, and look how that turned out!" He tried unsuccessfully to control his rage for a moment, then threw his hands down and paced to the opposite wall and back. "Look, Bells," he pleaded, anguish in his voice. "I don't want you to make the same mistake your mother and I did. Wait till after college. Wait till you both have jobs. _Please_!"

I was struck into silence by his lament. Trying to be more understanding and diplomatic, I said quietly, "Dad, I know you love me and want what's best for me. But I'm an adult, and so is Edward, and we know what we need and want. And for both of our sakes, _please _let me go through this with you helping me." Unexpectedly, my eyes started to water up. I looked at him despair and spoke softly, "Dad, I want you there to walk me down the aisle." I felt a tear slide down my cheek.

He stepped forward and crushed me in a hug. "Of course, Bella. You're right. I'll be there. It's just that… I remember all those years you came and stayed with me in Forks"—I winced a little at those bad memories—"when you were just a little girl. But you've grown up now. Going to college and all…" The tone of his voice made me smile softly—it had just a hint of a sob in the background.

Suddenly there were two quick knocks on the door. Charlie jumped away from me, straightened out his shirt, and tried to blink the redness out of his eyes. He cleared his throat and said gruffly, "Well, I'd better get that."

I followed him to the door, fully aware of who it would be. Charlie opened the door and Edward stood there, a hint of a smile on his face.

"Ah. Edward," Charlie said formally. "Come on in."

By and by, it was the politest greeting my—and I strangely reveled in the word—_fiancé _had ever received.

We walked into the kitchen. Edward took my hand, squeezed it tightly, and kept holding on even when Charlie stared at our interlocked fingers.

"I take it Bella told you the news?" Edward's voice broke the uncomfortable silence. "But there's one thing I'd like to do… You see, I'm rather old-fashioned. Charlie, could I speak to you? Bella, go on upstairs. I'll follow in a moment."

I glared at him, aware that this was his revenge for not letting him be there when I broke the news to Charlie. He raised his eyebrows smugly as I wishfully released his hand and slowly strode upstairs.

Once on my bed, I stared out the window. It looked over the deserted street, and I saw the silver Volvo and police car parked in our driveway. Suddenly I remembered my motorcycle. That led to Charlie's anger about the motorcycle.

That led to Jacob.

I missed him. True, I'd seen him only yesterday, but I somehow knew that it would be awhile before we spoke again. The guilt washed over me, and I let it overpower my senses and mind until I was sobbing silently… in regret or self-anger, I didn't know.

When my crying jag was over and my mind was clear again, I thought forcefully, _Bella Swan, it is not your fault. You had no power over what you unintentionally did to Jacob or what happened between you two. Forget it._

I knew it might be what Edward would say if I told him my troubles (not that I'd ever be able to) and if he, for once, decided to be starkly truthful (which would never happen; he was too concerned with not offending me).

Realizing Edward would be up in a minute, I ran to the mirror to check my appearance. Strangely, my eyes looked normal and my nose wasn't running. In fact, I thought hopefully, Edward might not even recognize my despair.

"What's wrong?" a soft voice asked from behind me. I whirled around to see Edward casually leaning against the doorframe, a concerned look on his face.

I smiled brightly. "Nothing. What did Charlie say?"

He stared at me quizzically, trying to understand why I was lying to him but accepting it all the same. "He said yes, but if I mistreat you in any way he will come after me with his gun. But," Edward said with a grin, "As you happened to mention earlier in the car, I am entirely bulletproof."

I smiled slowly. "Anything else?"

"No, but I think he believes me more… responsible? Now that I've asked his permission."

"Yes," I agreed, "But only imagine his horror if he knew the age difference between us!" I was trying desperately to shed me depressed mood for a lighter disposition, if only for Edward's sake.

"True," he conceded. "I'm seventeen and you're almost nineteen! You're much too old! Horrendous. Imagine the scandal if word got out!"

I hugged him tightly. "I love you, Edward," I informed him. "And even though I'm so ancient compared to your lesser age, I'll marry you all the same."

"Ah, well then, as long as you insist I suppose I can't resist your wiles." He leaned down and kissed me softly, then pulled away all too quickly.

I sighed dramatically, barely sentient enough to continue my witty remarks but loving that I could amuse him. "Ah, never mind," I thought aloud. "I could never sink so low as to marry a man with such little skill with the _finer _arts of life…"

Edward's face broke into a wide grin this time. "Little skill? I think not, my love…" And then he was kissing me again, light and spirited like his mood. I'd successfully distracted myself from the issue Jacob presented, and I kissed him back with even more enthusiasm.

When he broke away this time, it took me several seconds to compose myself. "Alright, then," I gasped. "I guess I'll have to marry you after all."

"Good," he said smugly.

"You vampires—always so cocky all the time!"

"It's a gift, Bella, a gift only some possess…"

"But soon I'll be able to be cocky just like you and Alice," I reminded him. My light words were shadowed by the ever-nearing event of my changing.

Edward brushed his lips against my forehead and agreed, "Yes. Soon. Too soon."

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	3. Invitations

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything... pity...**

Recap: Bella told a begrudging Charlie the news and must now plan the wedding.

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**Chapter 3: Invitations**

"No."

"Bella! Please!"

"No."

"Bella, do it for me!"

"I don't see how having such depressingly perky invitations will be good for you at all, Alice. In fact, I think it may benefit you if you toned it down every once in awhile."

"Well, I don't. And how can something be depressingly perky?"

Alice and I were sitting on a couch in the Cullen's main room, going over different options for invitations. So far everything she'd shown me was either pink and frilly or borderline horrendous.

"Easy," I replied. "It's so perky it makes me want to regret that I'm letting you do my wedding, which _you _would find very depressing."

Alice winked. "Don't worry. It'll all be worth it in the end."

"I can't imagine how," I muttered absently as I shuffled through the different examples of styles. "Hmmm… here, this one isn't too bad."

I held up an off-white card with a simple gold border around it. Alice stared at in disgust. "Unbelievable! I told them not to send us anything like that… I knew you'd be too tempted to go for such a boring style," she explained.

"Well, I like it and I'm giving in to the temptation," I informed her.

"Bella, Bella, Isabella Marie Swan…" she sighed mournfully. "_Clearly_ you're not up to this important task."

"Choosing invitations?" I asked, bemused.

"No. Planning your own wedding. Can you agree with that, at least?"

I considered my lack of experience in the area. "Alright, sure," I conceded.

"Therefore," Alice continued, "I am here, your extraordinary servant, to help you overcome that fault. So you should follow my advice. And my advice is to pick _this _invitation."

With a grand flourish she handed me the extravagant lavender card. I sighed and opened it to see translucent layers of petal-printed sheets. "No," I said.

She looked into the distance for a quick moment. "Yes!" she said happily. I cursed her vampiric ability and slumped into my chair, assuming she'd seen that that style of invitation would be used. Still willing to fight, I was opening my mouth to protest when I felt a light brush on my shoulder.

Turning around with a smile, I saw Edward standing there, sinfully perfect as usual. I stood up happily and hugged him—it had been two days since he'd left to hunt with the rest of the coven. "Edward!" I exclaimed.

He laughed and pulled me away to examine my face. "Any injuries? Attacks on your life?" Noticing the stacks of invitations piled on the table, he added, "Fistfights with Alice over wedding details?"

The female in question rose gracefully. "I protected her well, don't worry," she promised. "Besides," Alice added as she danced out, "Bella knows better than to get in a fistfight with _me_."

Edward chortled quietly, his golden eyes glowing with amusement.

"You seem to be in a good mood," I observed.

"I am," he assured me.

"Any particular reason?" I asked.

"Not really. Well, you're here, for one." He leaned in and kissed me softly. "And," he murmured against my lips, "I'm getting married in a month and a half. Had you heard?" He pulled away gently.

"Yes. Poor girl," I mused.

He laughed, then grimaced and said, "Oh, Carlisle needs to know the date so he can request the first few months after it off work. So he can help you when it gets the worst."

I was shocked by the sudden turn conversation had taken. "Um, I think Alice is taking as much time as possible for planning, so August thirteenth."

"Alright." He gazed past my head as if doing mental calculations and said after a moment, "That's a Friday."

It took me a moment to understand his meaning. I elbowed him playfully and asked, "Are you telling me the superhuman vampire is superstitious?"

He grinned. "Marginally so, though I'm not exactly human."

"True." I plopped down on the couch and stretched out my legs. "Wow," I realized. "I'm exhausted. This wedding thing is pretty tough. Or maybe it's just arguing with Alice. Ridiculous invitations…"

Then I sat up quickly. "Edward?" I asked slowly. "Who's paying for all of this, anyway? Isn't the bride's family supposed to? Because I don't think—"

In one of his disconcertedly fast movements, suddenly Edward was sitting next to me with a hand over my mouth. "Bella," he informed me sternly, "Did you really think that I'd ask you or Charlie or Renée to pay for this? Don't be ridiculous. You're the one making the sacrifice to marry me, which is something that you've expressed repeatedly you don't want to do. Besides, it's not like I can't afford it."

I glared at him. When he released my mouth I said angrily, "I don't want you to pay for this! Stop spending money on me!"

He laughed, apparently amused by me. "Bella, love, I've hardly ever spent money on you since we've known each other."

I slumped down moodily, aware that Alice could never be restrained to a point where I could afford even the cake—and that even if I could, Edward would never let me. "Fine then," I muttered. "But if you're paying for this, I'm driving my truck for the next century."

He smiled and pulled me down so we were lying side by side on the couch and he held me in his cold arms. "Agreed," he whispered, evidently pleased with himself.

We stayed in that enjoyable position in silence for a few minutes, until Edward sighed. "Alice!" he called, his voice only slightly louder than usual.

She heard him, of course, and skipped into the room in moments. "Yes, Edward?" she asked politely. Even I could hear the mock innocence in her tone.

"Why did you do that?" he asked sadly. "She'll be angry."

"She doesn't know what she wants! I have to decide for her," Alice defended. "Besides, it's not _that _big of a deal."

I looked from Edward to Alice quickly, completely lost. "What? Who are you talking about? Me? Alice, what did you do?" I demanded.

"Now, Bella," she said slowly, turning to face me. "I realize that I probably should've listened to what you wanted, but really, did you want no one to show up because the invitations were so… _boring_?"

"You sent those horrible invitations?" I asked slowly.

"Well…um…yes."

Standing up, I said, "Well, Edward, I guess we'll just have to see how well Alice does in a fistfight."

She stared at me, confused, then saw the hint of a smile on my face. "Oh. You're not mad?" she asked in wonder.

I shrugged. If it made Alice so happy, I wasn't going to ruin her fun. "Not really. Besides, it'll give everyone a taste for what they'll be in for if they show up to this affair."

Alice yelped excitedly and hugged me. "Bella! I'm so proud!"

I smiled and asked, "Wait, who did you invite?"

"Only who you said I could. Everyone from our grade and their families, even though you wanted it to be much smaller. I convinced you otherwise," she said smugly. "Your family, of course, our family, of course. Oh, and Edward, I invited Tanya's family from Alaska. I figured that would be okay."

"Stupid gorgeous strawberry blonde vampire," I muttered.

I heard Edward chuckle softly in my ear.

Alice frowned, thinking. "I think that's it. No werewolves, of course."

I froze.

Jacob.

Forcing myself to regain a casual expression for Edward's sake, I turned to him and asked, "Don't you have anyone else you want to invite? People you knew from other places or anything?" I couldn't keep a small tremor from my voice.

He studied my face, contemplating me. After a moment of silence he shook his head and said, "No." I saw his eyes follow Alice as she discreetly left the room.

I bit my lip, afraid I'd hurt him. He saw my anxiety and kissed my forehead with a little smile. "I don't care who's there to witness it, I just want to marry you. For you to be mine forever."

He was too good. Too perfect for me. I hugged him tightly and said, "Okay. Thanks, Edward."

Laughing quietly, he asked, "For what?"

"I don't know. For not dumping me and running of with the gorgeous strawberry blonde vampire because I'm so horrible to you." My eyes watered.

He knew I was referencing Jacob. He stroked my hair out of my face and promised, "I won't leave you again. You know that."

I nodded, biting my lip. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a clock that read 8:01. "Oh, darn!" I exclaimed. "I'm supposed to be home by now!"

"I'll give you a ride."

I knew he was talking about different transportation than by a vehicle. "No—I drove my truck here. Charlie'll ask questions if I don't drive it home."

"Okay," he said. "I'll see you later, then?"

I nodded then looked down, still tense.

Edward tilted my head up and kissed me softly. When he broke away I saw an easy smile on his face. "Don't worry," he said reassuringly.

I could tell he was struggling with the confusion of _why _I missed and needed Jacob so much. I couldn't help him, though. I was struggling too…

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**A/N: Do you guys want shorter chapters like these or longer ones that may not be updated quite as often? **

**Oh, and constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated!**


	4. My Drug and Sunlight

**Disclaimer: I don't own Jacob, Bella, or Edward. I do own the licensing office lady, though.**

Recap: Bella has been struggling with her decisions concerning Jacob and Edward, and plans for the wedding are underway.

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**Chapter Four: My Drug and Sunlight**

I sighed as I fiddled with my car keys. The bland interior of the vehicle licensing office gave little distraction from my current state of mind.

I'd told Edward not to come with me when I got my license plates renewed in Port Angeles. I'd said that I'd be fine by myself.

"Are you sure?" his concerned voice had asked.

He'd been right to question me, but I'd nodded and he'd agreed to let me go alone.

Over the past week, Jake kept popping into my head at the least notice. I couldn't deal with that. I needed some time to myself, to straighten things out with my overactive conscience.

He was hurt, that I knew. It was my fault, of course. I was so selfish! Becoming friends with him, leading him on, loving him… it was all a part of it.

I never meant to do it. Even when Edward had left me, even when I'd considered letting myself fall for Jacob, I never meant for it to get this far.

I loved him, as he'd managed to convince me. But how could I love both Edward and Jacob? Edward was my one true love, but Jacob… was my one true friend? But more than that… I couldn't describe it.

I remembered Jacobs words from barely over a week ago, though it seemed like much longer: "He's like a drug for you, Bella. I see that you can't live without him now. It's too late. But I would have been healthier for you. Not a drug; I would have been the air, the sun."

Was he right? Was Edward just that—a drug? I faintly remembered when Edward had used a similar comparison over a year ago. He'd called me his brand of heroin…

It shook me to the core. Perhaps Jacob was right. Maybe Edward was a drug. But not a bad kind—a good kind, if one existed. The kind that helps people survive.

_But_, I reminded myself, _People need air to survive too_.

I buried my face in my palms. It was all too confusing—two different loves, drugs and sunlight, my vampire and my werewolf. Both wonderful.

But I couldn't have both.

Suddenly I cursed the ingrained hatred between vampires and werewolves and my horrible conscience in one thought. They were the two things that kept me from both Edward and Jacob, not together as a unit but rather my separate tethers to sanity. They hated each other, that much was obvious however much they tried to tolerate the other for my sake.

And if I had no conscience, I'd feel no guilt of not loving Jake like he deserved to be loved. No guilt of saying to Edward that I needed air and sun as well as him.

In all of the different classic romances I'd read, there was only one hero. Elizabeth Bennet loved Whickham, but he ended up as a scoundrel and she married Mr. Darcy instead. The same with Marianne Dashwood. Juliet had Paris, but dumped him and married Romeo….

Why was I the only girl in history to love two men?

I squeezed the keys in my hand until they were on fire with pain. It was all too much.

"Miss?" I heard the lady behind the counter ask. "We're ready for you now."

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A/N: Short, yes, but there was originally an extra scene in this chapter that I decided needed to stand alone. It'll be very emotional.

All references to Edward being her drug and Jacob being air or sunlight is taken from page 599 of Eclipse (which I quoted). The title of the story is now "My Overactive Conscience," which was inspired by this chapter. I really feel like Bella's conscience is a main reason of her internal struggle between Edward and Jacob, a main theme in the story.

And no, I am not a JacobxBella supporter. I just think that it's okay for Bella to love both of them in different ways.

Constructive criticism, please! All writers love it!

I'll shut up now with the author's note... sorry!


	5. Jasper's Struggle

**Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in Forks. Or the town. Which is actually a real town that I'll have to visit sometime.**

Recap: Bella is on her way home from getting her license renewed, very guilty about having hurt Jacob and Edward so many times.

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**Chapter Five: Jasper's Struggle**

When I pulled up to my house, I frowned to see Rosalie's red convertible on the street. Since she wasn't exactly a frequent visitor, I ran inside quickly.

Charlie and she were sitting around the kitchen table. When Rosalie saw me come in, she jumped up with relief. "Bella!" she cried. "You've got to come to the house now!"

I looked at Charlie, whose face was creased with worry. "Go on, Bells. Help him get better."

"What?" I exclaimed. "Is something wrong with Edward—"

Rosalie grabbed my arm and forcefully pulled me outside. "Nothing's wrong with Edward," she hissed. "I had to tell Charlie that."

"Then what—"

"I'll explain on the way there," she promised.

She shoved me into the car and, more quickly than any human could, ran around to the driver's side. We were illegally speeding down the street before I'd gotten the chance to buckle up.

Rosalie turned to face me, paying no attention to where she drove but still following the twisting road perfectly. "It's Alice," she said, anxiety apparent in her voice. "About twenty minutes ago Edward found her on her bed, shaking hysterically. All he could hear in her head was 'Not him! Not him!' Jasper's beside himself with worry and Edward feels completely hopeless. Carlisle went to the hospital and got some sedatives but doesn't want to use them unless it's absolutely necessary."

I stared at her in shock. "But wait—does that mean Alice saw something? From the future?"

Rosalie nodded grimly. "That's what we think."

I nodded slowly, trying to comprehend it all. "But wait—why isn't Jasper calming her down?"

She sighed and explained, "Apparently he once promised that he'd never use his… _gifts _on her. I guess she wanted her mood to be exactly what how she wanted it. Stupid Jasper," she muttered, "Always so callous and strategic when it comes to battle, but he won't break a little promise when it comes to this…"

I didn't reply, but couldn't decide if I agreed with her. True, it was one thing to break a promise to your true love, but an entirely different one if he or she was in danger… wasn't it?

Rosalie pulled up to the Cullen's house a minute later. Using her full speed now, she picked up and carried me to Alice's room on the third floor. Everyone else was there, staring in horror and helplessness at Alice as she shuddered violently on the bed, a tortured expression on her face.

"Bella!" Edward whispered. His marble face was lined with anxiety. Everyone but Jasper turned to look at me with similar expressions as Rosalie rushed to Emmett's side.

"How is she?" I asked quietly, although I knew the answer from her quaking form.

No one replied.

I fearfully walked to the edge of the bed and slowly reached my hand to her face. Her roving, bloodshot eyes slid past me as if I wasn't there. Afraid to touch her, I withdrew my hand hastily.

It was then I saw Jasper. He stood as a statue, unmoving, staring at her face. Deep in his black eyes I saw an intense agony filled with helplessness and indecisiveness. Conflict raged in his gaze. I wished I could help him.

Edward grabbed my hand from behind me. I stepped back and looked at him hopelessly.

"Jasper?" Carlisle asked quietly. "Should I use the sedatives?"

Jasper turned around and stated, "I'm going to try." His voice broke at the end. Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett visibly relaxed in relief as Edward and Carlisle tensed up.

Jasper turned back to the bed, and within moments Alice quieted. Her body was still and her eyes stared straight up at the ceiling. After a second of silence Jasper asked Edward, "Anything?"

Edward stared at Alice distraughtly but answered, "No. The same thing. 'Not him.'"

"Shit!" Jasper exploded. He clenched his fists, then relaxed and knelt on the bed. He cradled her like a baby and smoothed the hair out of her face. "Alice!" he called desperately. "God, Alice!" He hugged her limp form to him.

"Bella," Edward's cool voice whispered. "Come on."

I turned around and saw that the rest of the family was leaving, so I followed. We went to the entrance room in silence.

When we were all seated, Carlisle said brokenly, "I think we all know what Alice saw."

None of us wanted to acknowledge it. The apparent truth was far, far worse than seeing Alice in such a state. Edward clutched my hand tightly and I stared at the ground.

"She must have seen Jasper…" He cleared his throat. "Must have seen Jasper…"

I couldn't bear to look at any of them.

Carlisle abandoned his attempt to speak the word. "Her visions change," he said with false hope.

"Sometimes," Edward said bitterly.

"But there's no way we can change it ourselves," Rosalie pointed out.

I realized something. "Wait!" I exclaimed, my hope resonant, "You could change it… someone just has to make a different decision. And—and once she stops seeing it, won't she be fine?"

"But we don't even know how… or why… or where…" Emmett pointed out quietly.

My sudden burst of inspiration was so different from my mood barely ten seconds ago that I was disoriented. "I know—but a big enough change, won't that affect it? Won't it be enough?"

"If we moved…" Esme murmured.

Wait. No. I hadn't intended to make them move—

My heartbeat must've sped up, because Edward whispered reassuringly, "Not for long. Bella, you could come."

I shook my head and said quietly, "Renée's coming tomorrow, remember? Wants to help plan the wedding… I can't just leave her here with Charlie…"

"Regardless," Carlisle said, "I think that might work, Bella. But we can't just decide to move—we have to go through with it or she'll keep seeing the vision."

Rosalie and Emmett nodded their agreement of the plan.

"Let's go tell Jasper," Rosalie said, and everyone went up the stairs but Edward and me.

"Bella—" he started to say.

I shook my head. "No. Go. Jasper needs you. Everyone needs you. Besides, it might not work unless all of you leave. You have to do it for Alice, get rid of the vision for her sake… and Jasper's."

"No. I'm staying. I'm not leaving you again."

I smiled at him softly, though on the inside I was hyperventilating at the thought of not having him nearby. "Hey, it can't be for too long. A few weeks, at the most. I'll have Renée to help me plan the wedding. Everything'll be fine," I reassured him.

He was torn, I knew that. "Go," I commanded again.

Edward nodded slowly, anguish apparent in his beautiful face. "I'll call every hour. Every minute. No. I'll leave the cell phone open and on so if you need to talk, you won't even have to dial—just speak into it and I'll respond. The second the danger's past, I _promise _I'll be back."

He grabbed the back of my head and started kissing me passionately. I responded, taking full use of this last opportunity for however many weeks. For the first time, though, I was the one to break the kiss. "You need to go," I told him. Over his shoulder I saw Esme waiting at the top with a bag in her hand.

Edward stared at me fiercely. "I promised I'd never leave you again…" he whispered.

"You're not leaving. Just taking a little vacation is all," I said soothingly.

I had no idea how I could appear so calm to him when I was mentally beating myself up for letting him go.

Then I realized. It was all for Alice. Alice, who'd made me dress up for prom to make Edward happy, who'd given me countless showers when I was incapacitated, who'd sent depressingly perky invitations for my wedding that was supposed to have been in Vegas.

My bridesmaid, Alice. My friend, Alice.

"Edward. I've got your bag," Emmett called from upstairs. "We've got to go."

After one final kiss, Edward tore himself away from me and ran out to the garage. Everyone else followed, Jasper carrying his love's limp form. After a few moments of silence there were three roars as Rosalie's convertible and Emmett's Jeep sped away.

I walked out to the garage like a corpse, finally able to express my true agony now that Edward wasn't here to insist on staying.

Tears streamed down my face, a combination of agony at Alice's state, Edward leaving, and what might happen to Jasper despite all of their precautions.

I had no place to go. I couldn't tell anyone the truth of what had happened, so no one would be able to comfort me.

Then I thought of something: _La Push_. I'd go there! Jake would keep my mind off everything—

No. I had to stop using him as a backup when Edward wasn't around. A person for me to use to heal myself, then ditch whenever vampires came back.

Jake didn't deserve that. Edward didn't, either.

I had resigned myself to crying my soul out alone in my bed when I realized I had no way to get home. But I noticed a note taped to the Volvo's windshield.

_Key in the ignition. Be safe. I love you._

It wasn't till I was almost home that I remembered that Jasper's eyes had been black.

* * *

A/N: This was such a hard chapter to write. Alice has always been one of my favorite characters... 

Oh, and did you realize the significance of Jasper's eyes? He hadn't fed for awhile but he was so focused on Alice's agony that he didn't even notice Bella was standing right next to him. In books it has happened that his eyes were gold, yet he couldn't bear to be within feet of her.

Review! Reviews make me happy! Reviews make me write fast! I love reviews! Let me hear your thoughts on the story! I always use your suggestions for the plot: )


	6. Author's Note

Hey guys! This is me. I have a few questions to ask you guys before I update the next chapter (so the sooner I get my answers, the sooner I'll write the next part!).

Okay. Well, I'm planning on doing a story about Bella right after she becomes a vampire. So basically there are three options:

A) I can wrap off this story in a chapter or two, then start working on that.

B) I can write them simultaneously, which means I might not be able to update as much. It would also confuse me a little, being at two different parts of her life.

C) I can finish this story (My Overactive Conscience) as I planned to, which will take a good deal more chapters. Then, I can write the story with her as a newborn as a sequel to this.

And I know that it's so annoying when writers have author's notes as entire chapters, so I apologize! I just really wanted to know what you guys think! And I don't think I'll make my descision till at least ten of you have replied with what option I should do, so the sooner you review the sooner the next chapter/story will come!

Thanks so much for all of your feedback!

half-insane insomniac


	7. Telephone

**Disclaimer: Don't own any of it. : (**

Recap (more detailed because some people mentioned the last chapter confused them): Alice saw a vision of Jasper being killed. Since he's her soul mate, she completely went into shock and started to hyperventilate. Jasper was forced to calm her down using his 'powers', so now she is in a state almost like a coma. In an attempt to change the future, the Cullens move to Montreal (in Canada) so Alice will 'wake up' when she stops seeing the vision. This way, she'll be fine and Jasper won't be killed. Bella forces Edward to go for Alice's sake, but she is very lonely without him and too guilty to visit Jacob. This chapter takes place about three days after the Cullens leave.

* * *

**Chapter Six: Telephone**

I dialed the numbers quickly. My fingers had memorized the pattern, so I could do it while staring at the mirror at my haggard face.

I'd done better this time with not having Edward here. Partly because I knew he was coming back, and partly because I knew he hadn't wanted to leave me. Still, it was a struggle. Having him constantly on the phone also helped, but I wished I could see him or smell him…

The phone had barely begun ringing when a voice exclaimed on the other line, "Bella!"

The tone gave me comfort. "Hey," I said. "I just got out of the shower. Renee's visiting some old friends and Charlie's at work. Has anything happened?"

"No," he said, voice morose. "Still as comatic as ever. We're hoping that by the time the danger is past Jasper, which should be relatively quickly, she'll come back.

"Relatively quickly?" I asked warily. Time was measured differently in the minds of those who had eternities of it. "Relative to what?"

"Well, we've never been exactly sure how far into the future Alice can see, but she usually doesn't look too far away—"

"Edward," I said sharply. "How long will you be in Montreal?"

"We could be back in days. You can never tell with this—"

"Edward!"

I heard him sigh. "It could be as long as a few months. Maybe even a year."

I almost dropped the phone.

"A… a _year_?" I asked, my voice barely able to come out. "But—but we're supposed to get married in a month!"

"I know, Bella. And we will. Once all the fuss of that's over, you'll join us here."

"But—but… I don't speak French!" The idiotic words burst out before I could restrain them.

I heard Edward's hearty laugh, the one he rarely used. I wished I could make him laugh like that more often…

"Bella!" he gasped between hoots of amusement. "You're worried about living with us in Canada because you don't speak _French_?"

He didn't understand the principle of it all. "Edward!" I exclaimed angrily.

The laughs stopped suddenly. "Sorry, Bella," he said seriously. "I didn't mean to laugh at you—well, that is, I didn't mean to insult you by laughing."

"Apology accepted," I grumbled.

"Besides," he pointed out, "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. In all likelihood, Alice will be fine in a week or so."

"_When _we come to it?"

"If," he amended.

The phone beeped. "Edward, I'll call you back—there's someone on the other line. Keep me posted, okay?"

"I will."

I pressed the pound button and said, "Hello?" I asked.

"It's Billy," came a rough and anxious voice.

"What's the matter, Billy?" I asked, worried, "Is Jake okay?"  
"No. He disappeared about six hours ago. No one's been able to find him. He's not in his wolf form anymore, or else he's too far away for anyone to contact him. Do you have any idea where he is?"

"Disappeared?" I asked weakly. "Jacob's… gone?"

"Yes," Billy said, impatient. "Do you know where he is?"

"But why?" I wondered, in a daze and completely ignoring Billy's question. "Why would he do that?"

"I have a pretty good idea why," he muttered. "But Jacob wouldn't want you to hear it. Or…_Edward_, either."

"Billy! What are you talking about?"

"Nothing," he said quickly.

"You can lie just about as well as me. _Tell me why he left_. It may help find him."

"Look, Bella, I've got to go," he said, sounding distracted. "Edward will know—and if he thinks you should know, he'll tell you. If you think of anything, call me back!"

"Okay. Bye, Bill—"

I was cut off as he hung up the phone.

I pressed the pound button forcefully. "Edward?" I asked angrily.

"What?" he said, sounding worried.

"_What did you do or say to Jacob to make him run away_?"

"Oh," he said with a sigh.

I was furious. "Tell me now!"

"Look, Bella, I really thought it was the right thing at the time. And it's what—"

"Edward!" I yelled, cutting him off. "_What did you do_?"

* * *

A/N: Oooh, Bella's pissed. Who can guess why Jacob ran away? (It may seem obvious, but some reading-between-the-lines of Eclipse is necessary). First person to guess correctly gets mentioned in the next chapter: ) 

Well, everyone who answered my question from the Author's Note (and thanks to those who replied!) answered C, so I'll be writing a sequel to this about Bella in her first months/years of being a vampire. I already have a basis for the story that I'll ask you guys about in a little bit, once it's more defined, so you can give me your feedback.

Just so you know, my teachers just started giving me the usual amount of homework, so updates won't come quite as quickly.


	8. Understatements and Overestimation

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight.**

Recap: _"Edward?" I yelled, cutting him off. "What did you do?" _(Bella discovers Edward has something to do with Jacob's disappearance).

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Understatements and Overestimation**

There was silence on the other end.

"I sent him an invitation," he finally whispered.

I slammed the phone down.

That was why.

Jacob. My Jacob. I'd hurt him unintentionally by marrying Edward. Was there nothing in my future I could do without harming him? Becoming a vampire, possibly murdering innocent humans…

I flopped on the bed and began sobbing. It was all too much—Alice, Jasper, Edward, and now Jacob.

"Bella?" I heard Charlie call from downstairs. "Are you home?"

"One sec!" I yelled. "I'll be right there!"

With one final sniffle I tried to wipe the redness out of my eyes. After blowing my nose, I stumbled down to the kitchen. "Hey, Dad," I said with mock happiness.

"Hey. Do you know when your mom's getting home?"

"I think in about an hour. Still wants to visit the Hanovers and Reillys."

I sighed and stared at my reflection in the oven door. I winced as I saw the dark circles and pale complexion. I could almost be a vampire—

"Bella?" He sounded alarmed.

"What?" I asked distractedly.

"What's the matter, hon? Missing Edward?"

I'd told Charlie that the entire family was going on a long camping trip in the Rockies, and that they'd asked me to go but I'd graciously declined.

He'd been surprisingly easygoing over the past two weeks about the issue of our marriage. Maybe because he simply knew that I came with Edward—and if he wouldn't accept Edward, he wouldn't have me.

I smiled softly at the thought that Charlie loved me so much he was willing to put up with Edward—who he'd made no secret of his hatred for. The smile unexpectedly turns to silent tears.

"Bella? What's the matter?"

Oh no. Charlie had seen the tears. My mind scrambled for an excuse—missing Edward, stress of the wedding, PMS—but I just couldn't seem to lie to him.

"Jacob's gone," I whispered after a few moments of indecisiveness.

"What do you mean? Where'd he go?"

"I don't know."

"What?"

"He left."

"Bella? What do you mean?"

"He ran away. No one knows where he is. Billy just called."

Charlie looked completely shocked and confused. "Wait—but—_why_?"

I took a deep breath and confessed, "Edward sent him a wedding invitation."

He stared at me. "Do you mean—I just thought—I thought he—he actually _loved _you?" he stuttered. "I mean, he had a crush on you, obviously, but he never had much of a chance—"

I closed my eyes. Hearing the truth from an outside source made it worse. "You're right. He never had a chance. At least once Edward came back. Maybe I thought he did… he certainly thought he did. But… no. I always knew I'd end up with Edward."

"Poor kid," Charlie sighed. "He'll be back soon, though. They always are."

"I hope so," I said quietly. "I hope so."

* * *

I screened the calls for the next day. I was in no mood to talk to Edward—at least not until Jacob returned.

I thought over what he'd done as I laid on my bed. First I considered _why _Edward would ever possibly imagine it could help Jacob.

Well, maybe… maybe Edward had thought it would give Jake closure of sorts. Seeing me officially and eternally joined to someone else?

I knew Jake wouldn't be able to bear that, though.

Then again, no one knew him as well as me.

Edward never called until about noon, but after the first time the calls came over and over without pause. I'd finally decided to answer, figuring that he must have something important to tell me, when the ringing stopped.

A minute or two later it rang again. I grabbed the phone off the hook without checking caller ID and said breathlessly, "Hello?"

"Bella!" came Angela's voice.

I was slightly surprised. "What's up?"

"Edward just called me. Apparently you won't answer his calls… but anyway, he says to tell you that Alice is better! And you're supposed to call his cell phone. Was she sick? I thought they were camping!"

"Oh, yeah!" I said, unable to hide my elation. "She had a really bad flu, but she's better now? Great! Thanks, Angela! I'm going to call Edward now."

"Bye, Bella! Oh—wait—I almost forgot!"

"What?" I asked impatiently, eager to find out about Alice.

"You're getting married!" she screeched. "Oh my gosh, I just got the invitation this morning because Isaac got the mail and brought it in his room and of course he didn't tell me I had a letter until just now but I can't believe it!"

I laughed. "Yeah…"

"You don't exactly excited… and besides, why didn't you tell me before you sent out invitations?" She sounded slightly hurt.

"Oh, I wanted it to be a surprise!" I fibbed. "Besides, it was a very recent thing—Alice wanted to get the invitations out as quickly as possible so everyone would be able to come."

"Okay! I can't believe it, you're getting married! Wait—you probably want to call Edward, don't you? And find out about Alice? Sorry! But call me later and tell me about it, okay?"

"Bye, Angela! And I will."

"Bye!"

I set the phone down for a split second, just long enough to disconnect the call before dialing Edward's cell phone as quickly as my fingers could.

"Bella?" I heard before the first ring was over.

"Edward! Where's Alice? Is she okay?"

"Bella!" I heard Alice screech. "I'm okay! Edward, get off! I haven't talked to Bella for days!" she shouted off to the side.

Sounds of a small struggle came through the phone. I laughed. "Bella?" This time it was Edward. "Please, please forgive me! I can't believe I was so—"

"_Please_ tell Edward that you forgive him and love him and the weddings still on so he lets me talk to you!" Alice begged into the phone.

"Edward? I forgive you and I love you and why would you think I'd call of the wedding?" I asked.

I heard him breathe smoothly. Apparently Alice had given up the fight. "You aren't?" he asked, sounding surprised.

"No!" I was shocked.

"But—you were so mad—I figured…"

I laughed. "Edward! I'm not going to call off the wedding, okay? And I am mad. But I understand. At least… I'm trying to? Does that make sense?"

"God, Bella," he sighed. "I don't deserve you. I did it again—thought I knew what was best for you—but I never do, do I?"

I couldn't stand to hear him speak so self-depreciatingly. "No!" I protested. "You know what's best for me. _You_. Which is why," I muttered, "I can never seem to stay mad at you when I should."

He chuckled. "Well, now that that is cleared up, I'd better calm Alice down before she paces a rut in the hotel floor. Here she is."

"Bella!" Alice exclaimed. "I'm so so sorry, I had no idea what would happen to Jacob—"

"It's alright!" I assured her. Angela's phone call had put me in a very amiable mood. "You can't see werewolves anyway. Besides, you were concerned with Jasper."

"Concerned is an understatement," she sighed. "But everything's all cleared up now. We should be home soon."

"Are you sure everything'll be okay? That your vision won't come back?"

"Well, not for now. It's likely to reappear any moment. It might not have been our moving that changed it, though. Maybe whoever it was that…" She paused and said slowly, "Was going to kill him changed their mind or something."

I winced at her harsh choice of words.

"But it's alright now. He's fine. We're fine. We'll be taking the next flight from Montreal to Seattle, which unfortunately doesn't get in until eight o' clock, your time."

I sighed. "Tell Edward to disregard everything I ever told him about not driving fast."

She laughed. "I will!"

"Hey, Bella! Can I come in?" my mom called from outside my room.

"One second!" I responded, then said to Alice, "I'll see you soon. Renée's waiting for me."

"Bye!"

I hung up the phone and yelled, "Come on in!"

She opened the door and leaned on the frame. "Why was the phone ringing so much earlier? I couldn't concentrate on my meditation."

That was her new thing: meditation. I hoped it would last shorter than all the other hobbies.

"It was Edward," I said apologetically. "I was mad at him."

She frowned. "Is everything okay?"

I nodded with a smile. "We cleared it up. They're getting back from the camping trip tonight! I can't wait for you to meet everyone!"

"We'll get along very well, I'm sure." She paused. "Bella, are you _sure _you're fine?"

"Yea. Just worried about Jake." I'd filled her in on the entire story last night.

"I'm sure he'll come back. Probably just in Seattle or Olympia," she said reassuringly.

I nodded. "I know… I just can't help being concerned. I love him."

That was one detail I hadn't mentioned to her, but Renée gazed at me understandingly. "You can do that, you know. Don't feel guilty." I knew she was referencing my conflicting loves of Jacob and Edward.

I sighed. "I know. It's hard, though."

"I love two men. Phil, for being my true soul mate. My love. But your father too, for helping raise you and being such a good man to you. It's okay."

I was shocked by this strangely similar comparison. "Yes…" I mused. "And I love Edward for being the one I want to spend eternity with. But Jake—he helped me heal when Edward was gone, didn't he…?"

She smiled softly. "Yes. Just make sure you don't overestimate anyone."

I was slightly baffled by those words, but the conversation moved on to a lighter topic and I forgot all about them.

* * *

A/N: Did anyone notice a choppy flow of one conversation/event to another? Or is that just me and my perfectionism? 

This chapter is dedicated to The-third-daughter, who guessed why Jacob had run away first. (lotrchick3 and prettypinkbookworm got it too). Good job!


	9. Polite Contempt

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the universe.**

Recap: The Cullens are coming home and there is still no news of Jacob.

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Polite Contempt**

I tapped my foot nervously. "Mom!" I called upstairs. "Are you ready yet? We're late!"

"Almost! Just—got—to—put—in—the earring…" she said as she hopped down the stairs with one shoe on, fiddling with her ear.

I sighed. "I'll meet you outside," I told her.

"Alright! One more second!"

We were about to go to the Cullen's. They'd just gotten home from their trip to the airport, and though I was desperate to see Edward and Alice again, Renée insisted on meeting the entire family as soon as possible.

She finally made it outside and into the car. On the way there, I drove my car like Edward always did—fast, faster than any grandpa truck should be forced to go. I seemed to have the unshakable feeling that something—perhaps Jacob, perhaps Alice's vision—was wrong. Something was left out of the puzzle of sanity.

I was almost shaking with the pure rush of emotion I felt. It was disorienting, like an out-of-body experience.

Renée looked at me oddly. "You okay? You sure you don't want me to drive?" she asked.

I nodded. "I'm fine. Just—I don't know. I feel weird."

We finally pulled up to the Cullen's beautiful mansion. Renée gawked. "They live here?" she asked with disbelief.

I smiled. "Yeah."

"I wasn't nervous before… but now I think I should be!"

I laughed. "Come on. They're waiting inside."

I knocked on the door, something I'd never done before. Within seconds Esme opened the door, Carlisle behind her. I could see the rest of the family warily perched on the couches farther back in the room.

But when Edward stepped into my view I forgot all else. Forgot that Renée was standing right next to me. Forgot that Carlisle and Esme were standing right next to him. Forgot that in my gut I knew something was wrong about Alice's vision.

There was only him.

I jumped at him and kissed him passionately. After a moment he pushed me away gently and said in a strained voice, "Bella, I don't think it's the best time for that…"

I turned bright red. "Oh. Right. Um, Mom, this is Carlisle and Esme." I gestured to each of them respectively.

Esme smiled warmly at Renée. "It's such a pleasure to meet you. We've heard so much about you from Bella!"  
Carlisle smiled amiably. "Would you come in?" he invited.

To her credit, my mother took the Cullen's beauty in stride. Perhaps meeting Edward in Florida had prepared her. She greeted everyone, and all seemed to go well even though Jasper's expression was slightly strained by our presence. Alice patted his hand reassuringly, though, and his face calmed slightly.

"What part of Florida do you and your husband live in?" Emmett asked politely in his deep voice once the introductions were over.

"Jacksonville," she said with a smile. "I still don't know how Bella stands it here, with all the rain—"

"Mom," I said warningly.

"I know! I know! You're staying here. I was just saying…" she teased.

The polite chatter continued for awhile. At about seven o' clock Renée gave her apologies to the Cullens, saying that she had promised to have dinner with the Neyers at The Lodge that night. I volunteered to drive her there, wanting to hear her opinion of the Cullens.

She waited till we were completely off their driveway before beginning with, "They seemed different to me."

I kept my eyes firmly on the road. "Why so?" I asked, making sure my tone was not accusatory.

"Hmm…" she mused. "There was a certain amount of… polite contempt in their tones."

I laughed breezily. "How can contempt be polite?" I knew how. The Cullens couldn't help but feel superior to humans, but they didn't feel we were worthless.

She sighed. "I don't know. I liked them, they were just so…" She paused. "_Planned_. Like they were acting a part…?"

I gulped slowly and didn't respond.

"I don't know," she said. "I'm very happy for you, though. They're great."

I pulled up to the restaurant. "I'll see you later, okay? Lucy's giving you a ride home, right?"

"Yeah! Bye, Bella!"  
I pulled out and drove back to the Cullens. This time I ran in without knocking, expecting a true reunion. Edward met me at the door and started to kiss my anxiously. I smiled and pulled away. "Hey," I said softly.

He kissed me lightly on my forehead. "Is everything okay? Any news of Jacob? I'm so sorry about that—"

I silenced him with a look. "No news. And forget about it, okay?"

He nodded, a conflicting gaze in his eyes.

"Bella!" Alice shouted from behind Edward. "Don't I get a hug?"

With a laugh I squeezed her tightly. "I missed you!" I said happily. "Any news?"

She looked at me, seeming to hint at something with her intense gaze. "Later," she whispered into my ear, so softly not even the other vampires could hear.

I went to the couches and sat down. Edward and Alice followed.

"We have some bad news," Carlisle sighed.

I frowned. "What's up?"

Edward put an arm around me as he said, "When we were in Seattle, there was a special news bulletin on the television. It seems that in the two weeks alone, about ten high-profile people have mysteriously disappeared."

"What do you mean by high-profile?" I asked nervously.

"The mayor," Emmett said in a flat tone. "The daughter of a paranoid millionaire. The head anchor, incidentally, of the news we were watching. People whose disappearances are noticed. People who are known, or are made known."

"More vampires?" I asked, the color slowly draining out of my face.

"No," Esme said softly. "Only one."

* * *

A/N: It's short, I know. Sorry! 

Thanks to all reviewers for their wonderful reviews!

By the way--I am in desperate need of a good summary for this story. Some of you may have noticed I change it every chapter or two. If anyone can come up with an amazingly great summary, you will have my eternal gratitude and the entire story dedicated to you!

(Yes. That's how desperate I am.)


	10. The Suicidal Vampire

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns it all.**

Recap: The Cullens have just returned from Canada, but while in Seattle they realize a single vampire is on a killing streak there.

* * *

**Chapter Nine: The Suicidal Vampire**

"Based on the clues, we think it's a situation much like a combination of Carlisle's and Edward's," Esme continued.

I nodded slowly, not comprehending it at all.

She smiled understandingly. "We believe it's a newborn vampire. This one is unique, though, in that it feels remorse. It doesn't want to kill people."

"This is only our theory," Jasper interjected.

"I see how it's like Carlisle's story," I said slowly. "But Edward's…?"

"When Edward thought you were dead, he was going to intentionally make the Volturi kill him. We believe that this vampire is doing the same, by purposely attacking important and influential people, in the hope that he or she will be noticed and exterminated."

I stared at them. "I thought we were done with suicidal vampires," I sighed.

They laughed quietly.

"So we're going to go find him or her?" I asked the Cullens. "If they really are a good vampire… they'd want to be vegetarian, right?"

There was silence.

"Right?" I asked again, more loudly this time.

Carlisle sighed. "Bella's right. We need to give this newborn a chance, whoever it is."

"But the Volturi—" Rosalie started to say.

"We've evaded the Volturi many times before," Edward said clearly, squeezing my shoulder.

Jasper was silent. He stared at the floor.

"Who will go?" Esme asked.

"Not me," Jasper said bleakly. "I really have to feed."

Suddenly I felt guilty. My presence always caused him so much pain…

Alice laid her hand on his leg reassuringly, and he looked up at her with a grateful smile. "I'll go with you," she promised.

Carlisle sighed. "I told the hospital I wouldn't take any days off until my long vacation in August"—he looked at me meaningfully—"since they let me leave for the past few days on such short notice."

"I'll go," Esme said.

"Me too," Emmett said with a smile. "It'll be fun."

"Same," Rosalie agreed. "Edward, what about you?"

Before he could protest, I said firmly, "Edward's going. You all will need him to make sure the vampire is actually remorseful, not just faking it."

He nodded, but I could see the conflict in his eyes.

Esme agreed. "It will only take us a few hours. Go there, find him or her, which hopefully won't take too long, take whatever action necessary, then return."

"Let's wait, though," Edward said. "Until the middle of the night. Then we'll be even less likely to be noticed." Carlisle nodded in agreement.

I sighed with relief. I'd get a few hours at least to spend with Edward before he left again. It seemed to be becoming a habit, forcing him to leave me for the good of everyone else. But soon, I reminded myself, I'd be able to go with him. I wouldn't have any ties to anyone or anyplace.

What would I say to Renée and Charlie? That I was going on a very extended vacation? That I was disowning myself from them?

Edward tilted my head towards his and said soothingly, "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

I wasn't sure if he knew exactly what I was thinking of, but the words reassured me all the same.

"At midnight, then?" Esme asked. Everyone agreed and dispersed, and Edward held me tightly on the couch for a few long moments.

"Come on," he whispered into my hair. "Let's go into my room."

He patiently matched my human pace until we reached his bedroom. I curled up on a corner of the bed and patted the spot next to me. As he obligingly sat, I bit my lip with consternation.

"What's the matter?" he whispered.

I smiled softly. "I know how women whose husbands left for war must have felt. I know—I know it'll probably be safe, but it's a killer vampire…"

He quieted me with a finger to my lips and a gently reproving look. "Bella. I promise to be fine."

"Promise?" I whispered weakly.

"Yes," he said.

We stayed like that for ages. Sometimes he would run his finger along my arm or exhale softly on my ear, but I remained motionless. I wanted to stay there forever in his arms, as cliché as I knew it was.

"Bella?" he breathed.

"Mmm?"

"May I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Alice… she's keeping me out of her head. She isn't letting me see the vision she had. Her excuse is that she doesn't want me to see Jasper in that state, but…" He swallowed. "She's hiding something. Something she doesn't want me to see. And I think she's planning on telling you."

"So are you saying you want me to tell you what she said?"

"No," he said, slightly shocked. "I wouldn't want you to betray her trust. But if you feel that it's something I need to or would want to know, can you please try to convince her to let me?"

I smiled in relief at his request. "Yes, I will. But keep in mind," I warned, "Alice can be a very good convincer."

He exhaled his sweet breath on my face. I felt dizzy. "Really?" he mused quietly. "Because"—he kissed me on the corner of my lip—"I really think that I"—he kissed me on the other corner, and my head spun—"can be a very, very good convincer." He pressed his lips to mine and I responded accordingly.

After a few seconds I broke away and gasped, "I definitely agree."

He chuckled and pulled me closer on the bed. "Almost there," he whispered to himself.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Oh, nothing." His voice seemed uncomfortable.

"Please tell me?" I brushed a bronze lock of hair out of his eye tenderly.

He gave in. "It's a… bet, of sorts, that I have with myself. No, more of a test. I don't want to take any chances whatsoever with your life, so I'm trying my hardest to make myself completely immune to your blood."

"Is that possible?"

He chuckled wryly. "No, not exactly. What I should've said is that I'm trying to make your blood have the same effect on me as everyone else's. Just in case…"

"You managed to suck the venom out of my system before," I reminded him. "You were fine."

"Fine is an understatement," he muttered, then said more clearly, "But then, I was so concerned for your humanity and soul—"

"Which will be completely intact," I told him.

"Regardless, I was so concerned for you that I wasn't nearly as focused on the…" he choked out the word, "_taste_… as I will be."

I shook my head. "You're being way too overcautious. I'll be fine."

"Hopefully," he said distractedly as he twisted my ring on my finger. Suddenly his face broke into a delirious grin. "I can't believe it!" he exclaimed elatedly.

I grinned. "What?"

"Right now, thinking back to when I'd first met you… back then I thought I'd never have a chance with you. Thought I'd end up killing you or you'd have no feelings at all for me."

I elbowed him. "Think you had it bad? I was informed, within moments of noticing you, that _Edward Cullen doesn't date_. Then the man of my dreams ignored me, glared at me like I was Satan himself, and seemed to think my hair smelled bad." I gave a mock sigh. "I really don't understand what I ever saw in you."

"Would it help if I apologized?"

"Hmm… no… but you can grovel if you like and see how it goes."

Instead he chose to kiss me again, which proved to be much more pleasant than any kind of groveling.

"Edward?" Alice said lightly.

I pulled away from him quickly, embarrassed that she'd walked in on us. He didn't seem to be affected and said smoothly, "Yes, Alice?"

"Esme says it's time to go."

He sighed. "Alright. I'll be down in a minute. Running or driving?"

"Driving. Want to be as inconspicuous as possible, even if you lose some time."

"Tell them I'll meet them at the end of the road."

She nodded and disappeared in a flash.

I leaned back into the comfortable stone hollow of Edward's chest. He hummed my lullaby slowly and I clutched his hand, comforted by the cool touch.

"Nervous?" he whispered.

"About what?"

"The wedding."

"Why do you keep bringing it up?" I asked with a smile. "Not nervous… no… _apprehensive_."

"Hmm," he mused. "Yes. That makes sense."

"Are you angry?"

"No. I just wish you could trust me, I think."

Afraid that we were talking about two different events, I stated, "I _do _trust you. I—I just think I'm still scared about everyone's reactions."

Earlier I'd called back Angela, who'd been exuberantly excited. Jessica, Mike, and Tyler had all called my house before I'd left, but I didn't answer the phone. Angela was genuine, the rest were…overly curious.

I didn't think Edward fully understood my anxiety. "But—but you'll be gone right after," he pointed out. "Is it really that big of a deal to you…?"

I sighed. "It must be. I don't want it to be, but… it still is."

Nodding, he grimaced. "I have to go. Emmett's getting impatient."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

One final kiss, and he was gone.

* * *

I sat on the bed dejectedly for about ten minutes. I wasn't in the mood to drive home, but it seemed the only option until I realized Edward's request about Alice. 

"Alice!" I called.

Within seconds she was sitting on the bed. "They're far enough away now—he won't be able to listen to my mind. Good thing, too. I was getting sick of conjugating _aedifico _in the passive."

"What?"

She rolled her eyes. "Latin. It was to keep him out of my mind. Well…" she paused, and her expression darkened considerably. "I left some parts out of my vision."

I waited in silence.

After a few moments she whispered, "Okay. Bella, the thing I didn't tell anyone about my vision… I didn't see Jasper actually _fighting _any vampires."

"What?"

She took a breath. "My vision disappears the entire time when we can assume they're fighting. Which means a werewolf was there. When my vision comes back, I can see two vampires… _burning_… him…"

I was shaken. "Does that mean that you couldn't see them actually fighting him?"

"Yes. But here's the thing—there are no corpses by Jasper when they burn him."

"What?" I was completely lost.

She sighed. "No _wolf _corpses."

"So—so a werewolf had to have been there during the fight, right?" She nodded painfully. "But couldn't the wolf just have run away?"

"I'm not finished," she said. "Right _before _my vision disappears, the vampires are running up to La Push." She paused and reminded me, "Right _after _my vision reappears, the vampires are fine, there are no wolf corpses, and Jasper is…"

"Defeated," I supplied.

"Exactly," she sighed.

"But I still don't get it… are you trying to tell me…"

Realization hit.

"Are you trying to tell me that werewolves would've helped kill Jasper?"

"It's the only logical solution I can think of," she moaned. "Bella, I'm so sorry, I just don't see any other alternative."

"But why? Why would a werewolf agree to work with vampires?"

"My theory is this," Alice said. "The vampires somehow attack a single wolf and get him at their mercy. The vampires tell the wolf they'll let him live if he helps them kill a vampire. The wolf agrees—what else can he do?"

"But wait!" I exclaimed. "Why would the vampires need help? It would be two against one!"

"They must have known about how much skill Jasper has fighting vampires, and wanted to be extra sure they'd win. So," she continued, "The vampires and wolf somehow corner Jasper and attack him. When they've finished, the wolf is smart enough to run away while the vampires are too concerned with burning up Jasper." I could tell the last part was hard for Alice to get out.

I was silent. One of the werewolves… Sam? Quil? Embry? Leah? Or—and I shuddered to think of it—_Jacob_?

"But we have a treaty," I whispered, unintentionally including myself with the Cullens.

"I'm sorry, Bella," she said, almost begging me to forgive her with her tone. "It's all the solutions I could think of—maybe I should tell Edward—he'd be able to think of something else, I'm sure…"

"No!" I exclaimed. "Don't tell him! He'll be back in Forks in seconds, going to attack all the werewolves. You know how impulsive he is!"

"I know," she said sorrowfully as she bit her lip. "And Bella… I hate to say this, but I need to."

"What?" I whispered bleakly.

"I don't think it was us moving that caused the vision to disappear."

"What?" I repeated.

"Bella," she said slowly. "Who else left right before I stopped seeing Jasper being killed?"

* * *

**A/N: Sorry, it took longer than I expected to update... I have a good excuse, though! The one and only Stephenie Meyer was in my town a few days ago, so I got to meet her and she signed my books! My pictures even on her website! (Not that I'm going to tell you which one I am. Crazy stalker people...)**

**I tried my absolutely best to make that last bit of information as clear as possible. If you're still confused, review and I'll reply with a better explanation. (By the way, now I'm replying to all not anonymous reviews). It was a long chapter, though:D**


	11. Hell's Angels

**Disclaimer: I don't own Stephenie Meyer's characters.**

Recap: Edward, Rosalie, Esme, and Emmett are in Seattle looking for the suicidal vampire, and Alice thinks that one of the werewolves would have helped kill Jasper if a certain someone hadn't left Forks...

* * *

**Chapter Ten: Hell's Angels**

_"Bella," she said slowly. "Who else left right before I stopped seeing Jasper being killed?"_

I stared at her in shock.

No—it couldn't be—

He'd never—

But he'd promised—

A thousand thoughts crashed through my mind at once, but they all led to one word: _Jacob_.

My expression must've scared Alice, because she shook me forcefully, a concerned look on her face. "Bella!"

When I didn't respond, she panicked and rushed, "Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry, I'm probably wrong, there must be some other explanation, really, it must all be a big misunderstanding on our part…"

I shook my head, still dazed, and whispered, "But—the treaty…?" It sounded like a question.

She ignored me and rattled on, "I'll tell Edward, he'll be sure to have another solution—"

"No," I said calmly. Her decision "You can't. He'll hunt down Jake immediately and kill him, just in case…"

"I can't imagine Edward doing anything like that—"

"Doing something like that to protect people he loves? And you know he hates Jake—"

"He feels _indebted _to Jake."  
"Yes, but that isn't going to stop him…" I sighed. "Alice, I thought you'd been blocking your mind so he wouldn't see you… why the sudden change of opinion?"

She sighed. "It's—it's your reaction. You're not reacting the way I thought you would."

I looked at her quizzically. "What do you mean?"

"You seem so… _calm_. I expected you to instantly insist on defending Jacob vehemently. That or start to curse his name."

"Why would that make you want to tell Edward?"

"Because I was prepared!" she exclaimed. "If you started to curse Jacob's name, of course I would completely agree with you and point out that he's gone and you may never have to see him again."

"And if I defended him?"

"If you defended him? I was prepared to force you to see the light of truth by the many examples I've thought of."

"So you—you really think it must be true?" I asked bleakly after a few slow seconds.

"I—oh—Bella—" She paused. "Yes. I just can't see any other solution. Not right now, at least."

Accepting it was easy. More easy than I could've imagined. The facts all pointed to one thing. Jacob would have helped the vampires kill Jasper, for whatever reason.

Did he really hate my family so much? So much that he'd work with enemies to destroy them?

But no… it hadn't happened. Jacob had run away. I was letting myself believe her vision was the truth, and I needed to stop.

"But—but doesn't that mean the vampires will still come? Even if Jacob isn't here to help them, they'll still—"

"I know," Alice interrupted. "But I haven't seem any visions of them, so maybe in some oblique way Jacob's leaving caused them to not come."

I nodded. "Okay. Okay. Don't tell Edward. Not unless he absolutely has to know…"

"Alright," she agreed. "But if you could make him promise not to read my mind once he gets back—"

"I'll try," I assured her.

"Good," she muttered. "I'm getting sick of Latin verbs."

* * *

I got home at twelve forty-five. Charlie was asleep on the couch, the dim glow of the television showing the permanent worry lines on his face. I gently woke him up and told him I was home, then went to my bedroom after surprisingly little anger from him about my late return.

The bedroom looked menacing in the darkness. Unwilling to turn on the lights, I fumbled me way to the bed and collapsed onto it.

Why would he do it? Was it some twisted revenge on me? But no—that couldn't be it. Jacob had never been vengeful.

I couldn't help but wonder if the nameless vampires had really given him an ultimatum: help us or die. He might've volunteered to help them, done anything for a chance to kill a Cullen.

Jake had said he loved me.

But if he loved me, why would he do this to me?

After laying there for a few minutes as I frantically contemplated Alice's news, I drifted into a half-sleeping meditative state.

* * *

"Bella?" Emmett's deep voice asked.

"Yeah?" I mumbled. Rubbing my eyes, I sat up quickly. The glowing clock read 4:45.

"I just got back."

"Wait—where's Edward?" I asked, alarmed.

"He's fine! Couldn't come home yet, though, had to do some stuff first—"

"What kind of stuff?"

"Gimme a second! I'm getting there!" he said, slightly annoyed.

"Sorry," I said sheepishly.

"S'okay. Edward and Rose had to do some stuff, so I'm here to give everyone an update. I figured you'd be the most worried, so I came here first." After waiting for my reply, he continued, "Well, here's a letter from Edward with what happened. I don't think he trusted me to tell what was in her head exactly—"

"Whose head?" I interrupted. When he gave me a look, I winced and apologized again.

"He didn't trust me to remember everything, so he wrote it down," he repeated. "Here it is." Emmett tossed a letter on the bed with surreal speed and grace.

A though suddenly occurred to me. "Emmett? Does it—does it just come naturally? Or does it take some getting used to?"

"What?"

"Becoming a vampire. Being so fast and strong and beautiful and…" I paused. "Drinking blood. Wanting to kill people. Is it—is it a hard change?"

Emmett frowned. After a few seconds he said slowly, "No—not for me. Rosalie is my angel. I thought I was in hell at first, with the pain of transformation, but I couldn't understand why an angel would be with me in hell. When I discovered what I was, well, what I _am_, I was completely okay with it."

This excited me. Not everyone hated being a vampire! "Wait—so you're glad Carlisle changed you? I mean, it hasn't ruined your life or destroyed your soul?"

He laughed. "Rose and Edward can be overdramatic sometimes. They don't know what it's like to be loved before becoming a vampire… it makes all the difference."

I smiled. "So I'll be fine?"

"Mostly fine," he sighed. My face fell. "It's not that you'll regret it," he hurried on, "But not being able to see your family or friends again…"

There was a stark silence as I imagined my future.

"Of course, I think you'll have much better control to start with than I ever did. Everyone had a job of restraining me," he admitted with a wry grin. "But since you're so much more prepared than everyone else… your control _might _be good enough…"

"But even then, they'd be old," I said quietly. "What—what am I going to say? Before I'm changed?"

"Easy," he grinned.

I was shocked by his careless acceptance of the challenge. "What—what do you mean?"

"We'll move very far away, whether in reality or illusion. You'll get a bad quality webcam so they don't notice the difference in your appearance as much and can keep in contact with them. Every time you try to visit them, plans fall through."

"I'll do that," I murmured.

"Then," he continued, "Maybe in a few decades you have enough control."

"A few… _decades_?" I gulped.

"Yeah. In a few decades you have enough control, so we take you to a fantastic makeup artist who makes you look forty-five or fifty. You can see Renée and Charlie again," he said nonchalantly.

"It still seems like a lonely world," I whispered.

"It is. You feel like no one can relate to you, and that's the truth. You feel like a complete outsider whenever you go anywhere, regardless of how much stronger and more attractive you are than everyone else."

Emmett's statement didn't give me much hope, but he continued, "Then you turn around and see her—or him, in your case—smiling at you, and suddenly…" He shook his head in disbelief and confusion. "Suddenly it all becomes worth it."

There was an awkward silence. This was the longest conversation I'd had one-on-one with Emmett. It wasn't that we didn't like each other, but either Rosalie or Edward always seemed to be there.

"Thanks, Emmett," I said after a moment. "It's good to know, that there's still…" I was at lost for a word.

"Hope?" he suggested.

"Yeah."

"Well, here's your letter." Emmett gestured to the paper on the bed. "I'm gonna go tell everyone else what's up. I'll be back in a few minutes." Before I could ask any more questions, Emmett had jumped out the window and run away.

A letter sat on my bed. I opened it and started to read. _This is what occurred in Seattle,_ it began in Edward's elegant script. It looked rather long, so I settled myself on my bed and started to read...

* * *

**A/N: If any of you noticed, the bit about Rosalie being Emmett's angel is taken from an outtake of Twilight, "Emmett and the Bear," that can be found on Stephenie Meyer's website. I couldn't resist that conversation with Emmett: I always feel like he gets overshadowed by all of the other vampires. **

**I finally have a definite idea for the sequel! From this chapter on, I'll put a quote from the sequel at the end of each chapter as a teaser. Here's the first one:**

_**"'I don't think five-year olds particularly like spinach.'**_

**_'Did you like spinach when you were five?'_**

**_'No...'_**

**_'That's what I thought.'"_**


	12. Oh, the Armed Forces of Our Country

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Recap: Edward, Esme, and Rosalie haven't returned yet, but Emmett gave Bella a letter from Edward that tells what happened to them in Seattle.

A/N: Although this entire chapter is a letter, it is not in italics. Everything is in Edward's point of view, and italicized things are thoughts.

* * *

**Chapter Eleven: Oh, the Armed Forces of Our Country**

This is what occurred in Seattle. Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, and I reached the city in about an hour and a half. Based on what Alice could gather from her visions and our senses of smell, we discerned that the rogue vampire was somewhere in the downtown area.

We headed in that direction and, after a small encounter with some police forces, found the warehouse district. Most of the buildings were dilapidated and—

Rosalie has just informed me I should elaborate on the small encounter.

In short, we were driving along—

Emmett has just informed me that it was not a short encounter, and no synonym of it or related words of small and short should be used.

Very well. We were driving along a quaint street filled with small trinket shops, at a speed that was a few miles above the speed lim—

Rosalie has just informed me that if I cannot tell the story truthfully I will not be allowed to tell the story at all.

Therefore, we were driving exponentially above the speed limit. As we drove along the street, we heard a police car's sirens behind us. Aware that we'd be able to escape the humans easily, I pulled over and got out of the car. Everyone else was prepared to react if we got into any kind of trouble.

Once outside, I realized the police car was clearly pulled over, and had been for some time. Two police officers were standing outside of it and a third climbed out, having just turned on the siren.

"Shuddup, Hodie," one of those that stood on the sidewalk slurred. They were clearly inebriated, and when I got closer I realized they looked unkempt and had probably been out all night.

"Yeah, yeah," the one called Hodie moaned. "Mister Frank damn break the law Heri."

"Lookit, guys!" the third shouted. "We got a lawbreaker!"

They staggered over to me as I recoiled slightly in disgust. In the past ten seconds my opinion of humans had dropped significantly. Idiot humans, drunk on the job when they had innocent peop—

Emmett says to get on with the story and leave the editorials for later.

Well, once they came upon me Mr. Frank Heri peered into my face. "He was speeding by sixty seven and a third miles!" he proclaimed after studying me for a second, as if the number had mysteriously come from my appearance.

"Holy shit, Cras, you were right!" Hodie exclaimed in surprise. "I remember now—the radar said a lot more than its supposed to say!"

"Idiot!" Cras said for no apparent reason and hit him in the back of the head weakly, stumbling from the effort.

_Oh, what a grand representation of our armed forces_, Rosalie murmured to me in her head. _Let's just get away from here_.

At the same time I heard Emmett yell (he never trusted that I'd hear him if he thought too quietly) in his head, _Don't move! Well, don't run or… do anything inhuman. These guys may be as drunk as hell, but they're still cops, they've still got guns, and they've still got radios._

I agreed with Emmett and said cautiously, "Is there a problem, men?"

They guffawed hysterically. "He—wants—to—damn—know—" Hodie gasped out between bursts of unexplainable laughter. "If—there's—a—damn—problem!"

I measured them wryly. They were distracted, that was true, but would we be able to get away quickly enough? There was always the Volvo, too. They might have gotten the license plates, there was just too much to risk, so I stayed and—

Rosalie would like to interject that if we'd left right then we wouldn't be in the mess we're in now. In my defense, the "mess" we're in right now is hardly a mess—it is exactly what we came to Seattle to accomplish.

Emmett says to shut up and get on with the story.

As I was saying, I thought it would be best to simply remain and see how things played out.

Once they were calmed down, Heri put on a tough front utterly ruined by his state of mind and said forcefully, "Urhm, sir, that's a minority violation of the lawful state of…law…uh…oh shit… um…" He fumbled around for a bit, looking for a badge.

Hodie grumbled, "Damn idjit. I'll take care of this situation, you be sure."

He stumbled up to me and tried to grab my hands, which were hanging by my sides, but I stepped back. Lurching forward, he flailed wildly and tripped onto the ground. "Damn teenager!" he moaned.

"I had enough a this!" Cras proclaimed in a mumbling tone. "Lezzget outta… oh shit there it goes…"

Unaware what the drunken man was referencing, I gazed at them warily.

"What's that look! Huh?" Heri demanded, apparently haven given up the search for his badge. He came up into my face and slurred, "Here we are, workin our asses off to save the good people of Seattle's lives so a mass murderer don't kill 'em, and here you are, trying to be here!"

_Edward!_ I heard Esme yell to me in her thoughts. _Someone's coming! A vampire! It smells the alcohol!_

I cursed. The presence of too much alcohol in a human's body multiplied the smell of his blood for a vampire, for whatever reason. It would make the vampire insane with thirst.

I searched the surrounding area for any bloodthirsty intentions, and finally found a thread, moving quickly, far too quickly—_almost there, I can smell them, I can smell—oh they smell so good_—and the thought of the blood infected even me and I felt myself growing thirstier—

Emmett says to get on with it.

I felt myself growing thirstier, so I took a second to shake myself out of the predatory mood.

It was a second too long.

The next thing I knew I could see her, dashing to each man and breaking their necks to immobilize them as she prepared to drink their blood.

Esme moved the fastest, pinning her down with difficulty and leaving the men, alive but badly injured and unconscious, on the ground.

Emmett, Rosalie, and I were at Esme's side in moments. We each took an arm or leg in an attempt to pin down the writhing girl.

For I'd just realized it was a girl—no more than thirteen or so—we were restraining.

Emmett finally managed to get on top of her and pin her down single-handedly. Although she seemed to be a newborn, he was able to do it with little difficulty—she must have been a particularly weak human. After a moment of struggling, she finally calmed down and submitted.

"Are you going to be quiet?" Esme whispered.

"Yes," the girl's tiny voice said. Still, Emmett kept his hold on her arms.

Remembering the injured police officers, I ran over to Heri and found a cell phone in a case on his waist. I pulled it out gingerly with a hand gloved by the corner of my shirt to prevent fingerprints and dialed 911. Dropping it on the ground, I muttered, "Let's go."

We ran to the Volvo, Emmett and Rosalie half-carrying the girl. Her thoughts were indiscernible, filled with mixes of confusion, self-pity, and extreme thirst. I slid into the front seat, Esme climbed in next to me, and the other three squeezed into the back.

Driving away faster than before, I murmured, "Don't talk."

From the rearview mirror I saw a timid nod of assent.

Speeding past the city limits, I caught sight of an empty cornfield with no thoughts a mile in each direction. Pulling up, I commanded, "Make sure you don't let go of her—her thoughts aren't clear enough yet."

Once we were all outside, I was finally able to get a good look at the girl with the help from the headlights I'd left on. She was of medium height, and looked barely more attractive than the average human, hinting that she'd not been good-looking before being transformed. As I'd suspected, she was about twelve or thirteen years old, with russet-tinted brown hair and a slightly chubby figure. She barely struggled against Emmett, save the occasional tug to see if his grip on her had loosened.

Esme stood to my side, eyes filled with love and pity looking upon the girl. _Poor thing, barely more than a child, left to fend for herself…_

Rosalie wondered, _Why doesn't she fight? Is she really so willing for death?_

Emmett thought, _Cute little girl. Feel bad for her… I wish I could let her go, I feel bad restraining her—_

I'd just like to say, in my defense, that Emmett punching me as I wrote the last line was utterly uncalled for and my response was _completely_ instigated.

As I said, we all stared at the girl for a few seconds. Finally Esme asked softly, "What's your name?"

"Anna."

"Are you okay?"

There was a broken silence followed by an almost indistinguishable, "I don't want to talk about it. Just kill me, please."

"We won't." This was Emmett.

Suddenly she was completely wild with fury, struggling with difficulty against his arms. "No!" she screamed. "I'll keep killin' them! I'll reveal all of us! Do you want me to do that? Huh? You'd better just kill me!"

Wishing fervently for Jasper's abilities, I tried to calm her by shouting, "We're not going to kill you! Just let us talk to you—"

"Talk? Oh yes, talk to me all you want! _Woo _me to your side with slippery, slithery, words, just like—"

Emmett clamped a hand over her mouth, and only winced a little when she bit him. Rosalie stared at Anna, a mystified look on her face. _She regrets it_, I heard my sister think. _She doesn't want this any more than I do… Better tell Emmett to stop—_

And just as she thought the last bit, Rosalie commanded, "Let her go."

Emmett released her unquestioningly.

Anna stood there, suddenly unsure. She shifted her weight as her gaze flicked around to each of us. "What?" she asked jumpily. "Why—"

"You don't have to kill humans," Esme said simply.

"Yes I do! I tried not to! The lady said it would be imposs—" Then she stopped suddenly, realizing she'd said too much. There was a stark silence as the girl studied each of us in turn. "Your eyes…"

"It's the color they turn when we drink animals' blood," Esme explained.

"But—but no—she said… I went insane… needed to drink… brought me some fhumans… couldn't control myself…" Anna's voice drifted off slowly as she looked at the ground.

"Who is she?" Esme asked gently.

"I'm not allowed to say," the girl whispered.

I listened to her mind and heard _Riley never told us her name liked her red hair Nathan hated her said she would kill us Bree tried to keep quiet—_

"Victoria!" I exclaimed.

She looked at me sharply. "It's Anna," she replied automatically before looking down quickly again.

Rosalie wondered, "Wait, do you mean she was there with them—"

"That makes sense!" Emmett said. "But how did she—"

"Anna?" Esme asked. "Were you ever in a battle with about twenty other newborn vampires, in a meadow somewhere near here?"

Her eyes widened and she started to run away. Although the girl was surprisingly fast, I caught up with her quickly and restrained her. This time Anna struggled defiantly and almost wiggled free of me before everyone else reached us.

"No!" she screamed hysterically. "You can't make me! Just kill me! I already told them everything! Don't hurt me again!"

In her mind I heard thoughts of excruciating pain, a pain so horrible death was preferable as long as it went on. I recognized the description.

"Jane," I informed everyone else.

Within moments Esme was kneeling on the ground next to Anna, who had collapsed into a shaking sob. "Shhh," she said soothingly, stroking her hair. "We won't hurt you. I promise. We're trying to help you. Shhh…"

When Anna's sobs had quieted, Rosalie said softly, "When did they find you?"

"Yesterday."

"Can you—can you tell us what happened? I know it'll be hard."

"Yeah…" Anna hiccupped. "It—it started when—" She broke down in tears.

Rosalie knelt down next to Esme. "I'm Rosalie. This is Edward right here." She gestured to me. "You know how vampires have different powers? Edward can read minds."

Anna looked shocked, so Esme interjected, "Don't worry—he's very respecting of our privacy."

"Would it be easier," Rosalie asked, "If you just thought through the story, then Edward could tell us?"

"I don't know," Anna whimpered. "I—I guess it might…"

"It was for me," Rosalie said encouragingly.

"Alright. I—um—okay…" _Can you hear what I'm thinking? _she screamed in her head.

"No need to shout," I said with a small smile.

_Um, okay. Ah I don't want to do this I don't want to do this um okay well here goes. _

(I will tell Anna's story as she told it, without my translations to Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie thrown in.)

_Well it all started about nine months ago I got changed. Nine months ago._

_It was late at night, after dinner. I was walking home from the library because my house was right off Viata Street and the library was on Newman Avenue well I guess it still is on Newman Avenue but I haven't seen it since then. And I heard two people arguing in an alley, but their voices were very weird-sounding then. Now I recognize their voices, but then they were just very silky and pretty._

_I heard the woman say that she needed more, many more, and the man said he was trying but it was hard finding skilled ones. And the woman said she didn't give a damn if they were skilled or not, just as long as they were newborns._

_I was very confused. I didn't know how they would know if newborn babies would be skilled. Now I know what they meant._

_Then the woman said that she smelled one. The man said something else, then asked if she would do it. She said yes—she didn't trust him not to kill it._

_That scared me, so I started running. I had just passed the alley when ice hands pulled me like I was a cloud backwards. They kept dragging me, but it was so dark and I was so scared I didn't know where we were going._

_Then I felt something on my neck, for a split second. It was really weird because I felt like someone was putting a gun to my head, even though I knew it wasn't a gun and it wasn't even against my head, but I don't know._

_Then oh god oh god oh god then the pain started. I—I can't even describe it—it started out feeling like fire but then there was ice freezing all over my body at the same time and… I can't even describe it… but I guess it's the same for everyone so I guess you know what I'm talking about._

_They explained what I was, once the pain was over. I didn't believe them till I looked in the mirror. My whole life I'd just wanted to be pretty, and I'd finally gotten it, and look what I was…_

_But anyway, over the next few months we didn't do much. I met all of the other people. Most of them were older than me, but I was friends with some of them. _

_We never really saw the red headed lady, the one who'd changed me, but Riley stayed with us a lot. I never killed the people. I refused to. Riley would kill them first, then bring me. They still had blood, and it tasted so good, and I felt like I'd never drunk in my entire life, but I told him I didn't want to kill anyone. He was nice. He said that for now I wouldn't have to. _

_I always heard the 'for now' though._

_We mostly stayed in the woods. I don't really know for how long. But one day Riley told us we had to move, so we started to move. He never told us why we were. We were too scared to ask. _

_Then we got to a big meadow and got attacked. It was so scary. There were big wolves everywhere, and they killed so many of my friends… and there were some vampires I didn't know that killed a lot of my friends too._

_I got so scared—I knew there weren't enough of us. I knew I'd be killed too. So I climbed up to the top of a tree, but then I remembered how good vampire's sense of smell is, so I ran away as fast as I could into the woods. _

_I'm really good at directions so I remembered where Riley had taken us from. I love Seattle. I know it. I wanted to go back. I never realized the consequences…_

_I managed to find the city with little difficulty. I decided to go to my house, thinking my parents and brothers would be worried. _

_I'd never been around humans since being changed. I thought the only reason I lost control and had to drink blood from the dead bodies because their blood was pouring out of them._

_I was wrong._

_It was night, so no people were out on the streets. I was so focused on getting to my family that I didn't realize what humans' scents did to me. I made it to my house._

_I'm sure you can guess what happened._

This whole time Anna had been curled up on the ground, and as she told us about her family her body had begun to quake violently and sobs were ripped from her body.

_Well, because of that… I tried to kill myself. So so many times. I tried to hang myself, shoot myself… none of it worked. But I'd seen vampires being killed, at the battle—I knew there was a way. _

_One of the things Riley had drilled into our heads was that we shouldn't ever be obvious about being vampires, that we had to be careful about who we killed, or the most powerful vampires in the world would kill us._

_I knew that if I didn't find a way to kill myself as soon as possible, I would tear apart so many lives through the centuries… so I purposely killed people that would be noticed, and I fed as often as I could. _

_Finally yesterday the vampires came. I was in the woods and a voice said, "Hello."_

_It was a vampire, I could tell. He was big and had dark skin and short hair. A little girl stepped out of the shadows next to him, and I realized she was a vampire too. _

_I didn't respond to the man. He sighed and said, "We really can't have newborns doing things like this. You think they'd know to be subtle."_

_"I know," the little girl sighed. "But too late. We'd better hurry up—we have to be in Mexico by tomorrow."_

_"Want to have some fun first?" the big one offered._

_"Well, if you insist," she said with a mean glint in her eyes._

_I had no idea what they were talking about. I knew they were going to kill me, though, and that was good. I was happy. It might be painful, yes, but I could deal—_

_And at that moment all thought stopped. The pain was worse, far worse than my changing had been, and I regretted my decision—I should've killed stupid, unimportant people, no one would notice, so what if they died, at least I would live—I thought it must be hell. I knew I deserved it and it felt terrible enough._

_But after a moment the pain stopped. I was on the ground, sweating, and I heard the girl laugh. They were standing above me dominantly. I started to cry—that hadn't been death, I'd have to go through it again. _

_"I should've let the werewolves kill me," I whispered dejectedly._

_Within moments I was wrenched up by the man. "What did you say?" he screamed into my face._

_"The—the werewolves!" I stuttered. "They—they killed all the other newborns fast—"_

_And then I was alone. I guess they'd run away. I don't know if I scared them or if they had to tell someone about the werewolves or what. _

_Once they'd left, though, I wanted to die again, for doing what I'd done… I didn't care about the pain they'd created, now that I didn't have to go through it any more. So I started to attack people even more than ever, to make them remember about me._

"And here I am," she whispered, a twisted and ironic tone in her voice.

As she'd told the story we realized what it meant—the Volturi know about the werewolves.

"Oh, poor girl," Esme said sympathetically and hugged her. "But you don't have to go through that again. We'll protect you, and teach you how to drink animal blood—"

"—and how to tackle a grizzly," Emmett interjected with a grin.

Rosalie nodded. "It's not easy, but it's a better option. At least for us. And I think it will be for you."

Anna gazed at us in wonder. "Could I?"

Esme smiled. "Yes. We'll take you hunting right now—you look as though you need it."

"We need to bring news to everyone else, though, so they can prepare," I said. "Emmett, would you mind?"

"Sure," he agreed.

I think that Emmett probably would have scared her when we taught her how to hunt, which is why—

Emmett just told me to write that he wouldn't scare Anna, she is his new favorite little vampire.

Anyway, we will show her how to hunt and be back in Forks within an hour or so after Emmett gets there. We don't want any humans near Anna, so Bella, stay at home. Some of us will come to your house as soon as possible.

Warn the werewolves. Well, I suppose you can't, so Bella, can you call Billy or one of the wolves?

We're going to go now. We'll be back soon.

_--Edward_

* * *

A/N: Teaser—

_"'Remind me again why I didn't take home ec in high school?'"_


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